Exactly one year ago right now, I was laboring Charlie into the world. There's so much that I still need to say about this incredible year, so many more posts I'm going to write this week. I just want to get this down while I have a few seconds. Summer and Jeff are on their way back from the dump, and Charlie is momentarily distracted by an upside-down tin bucket... no, wait, his arm is caught in his fleece pull-over, hang on... I just want to say, that one year ago right now, when I was lying in a delivery room panicking at the prospect of breastfeeding another baby; or that one day later, when Jeff and I were spooning in my post-partum hospital room, terrified beyond words that our new baby boy faced a painful, difficult life; that I would not have believed you if you told me that in one year's time I would be so utterly... hold on, he's trying to pull off the patch... so utterly, simply, just, existentially... he's waving a maraca now, so cute... just...
Is it possible that until now I didn't even know what happiness was? Things aren't perfect, but I still feel overwhelmingly joyful. And that's how I know it's real.
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